What am I running away from?
So, I've been having a lot of thoughts about my stay in India, wheather I should continue my studies in India, or if I should go back and continue my studies in Sweden for my third year.
The thoughts has been troubling my mind since september. And I am a bit, or not even a bit, I am very confused about these thoughts.
Why did I even let them entering my mind in the first place?
There are a numbers of factors why I would concid to going back home, and there are a number of factors why I should stay making this a tough riddle to solve.
In one moment I am so convinced that I should go back; in another I am so sure about my stay in India for the rest of the program.
After taking a walk on my own saturday evening I ended up with only one question spinning around in my head - am I trying to run away from something? And if I am - what am I trying to run away from?
I came to India with a number of unwritten odjectives. I managed my first year (a hallelluja for that), and then it suddenly hit me that I think I'll be satisfied after finishing second year.
Living two years in India is not a bad thing to have on your have-done-in-life-list!
Doing the calculation in my head thinking that I will be 28 when I finish the Nursing program, how my life will look like if I go back now vs. how my life will look like if I stay I got to a point where I thought I might have been asking my self the wrong question - am I trying to run away from something?
Usually my decisions is based on the sensation I get in my stomach. But at the moment I am standing in a roadcross with no feeling in my stomach that tells me about the right way to choose.
And yes, I do listen to advices and would like to get them too. But this far most of the advices is just pulling me back and forth.
I guess I just have to wait, and let time decide...
Jag förstår dig Madde, det är inga lätta beslut och vad du än beslutar dig för, så blir det bra! Jag hade gärna uppskattat att ha dig i Sverige! Då blir möjligheten att träffa dig oftare mycket större och du fattas mig! Ibland känns det kanske som att man flyr från något, men jag tror inte det. Utan att du isf känner dig "nöjd" med Indien och kan tänka dig vända blad. Sen kan ju all julfeeling säkert göra att tankarna far runt lite extra! Vi måste Skypea snart ❤️