Doctors, behave!

 So, during my four years as a nurse students I've come across a number of occations where doctor students have got much better treatment than the nursing students in the clinics. They are always allowed to take up space in the wards, but we nursing students have to find a small corner to stand in during our clinical teaching. Or we may not be alowed to listen during rounds, cause it has to look as if we're working all the time. There's nothing that look more bad than a nurse who has nothing to do, but a doctor can sit in his comfy chair without a problem. We need to put up our hair in a descent bun and only wear one pair of earings. Make up and nailpolish is strictly forbidden.
But doctors can aparently have whatever style they want. If someone in the hospital would happen to see a nursing student with a phone in their hand there would go a call directly to our Dean. But does anyone say anything to the doctor students? I can't remember how many times I've seen a doctor student clicking a pic of a client's health history chart.
And speaking of clicking a pic. When a person get admitted to a hospital one of the most important thing for a care taker to keep in mind is to respect and maintain the client's integrity. But most of that disappears as soon as one enter the hospital. Sadly, but true... One of the rules is that one is not allowed to click a picture of someone without permission. And guys, don't ask me how many times I've seen doctor take pictures on their client's affected body parts without even asking for permission. It hapened to me once. And yea, I don't really mind that they're taking pics due to learning purpose. Very understandable. But for heaven sake ASK first before clicking. It's a vital thing to ask for permission, even for a doctor. It's even more insulting when you're lying on the operation table and you won't know what's happening, or you're in ICU and not able to communicate cause there's a tube stuck down in your trachea. And suddenly there's a doctor who wants to take a pic of your very interesting colourful mark on your chest who no one ever seen before.
No, doctors, behave and show some respect, please!

Meeting with reality

I had a meeting with reality today. My first day of clinical compensation duty has started (less serious than it sounds) and it felt good being back. Being back at the hospital also means that one gets to see some pretty nasty things as well. I met a girl today, she's in my age and got a probable diagnosis of Hepatitis E.
Now, Hep.A and B are the one's who every one knows about since we usually take immunization for it. But hep. E is more rare, spreads via the blood, attacks the liver and has no cure.
Being in a hospital puts your life into perspective sometimes. And I sometimes wonder why we have (or at least I have) to be reminded every now and then of how lucky I should be that I'm not one of those people who daily struggles with very a infectious disease or deadly sickness. That we're one of those who struggle through career and family life while another can only dream about one. Some people need a wake-up call in form of an infarct in order to stop bad habits.
An older woman sleeping next to the girl at the hospital got discharged against medical advice since the family apparently decided that it was not worth the medical expenses they had put out in order to keep her there. Maybe they were one of those thousands of families who goes completely bankrupt every year due to the way to high medical expences than the family can't afford. It was a weird feeling seeing the nurses slowly but steady removing all the devices from her bed side. The last one the respiratory support which was kept till the moment they shifter her to the car. Knowing that she won't make it for long without her reapiratory support at her present condition...
And there we walk, from one bed to another, the nurses and I, talking about the future, gossiping in Kannada, laughing to the doctors bad handwriting and hide behind lockers when the X-ray machine is going wild. Does one have to be cold hearted or warm hearted in order to function in this environment? Maybe good at controlling when feelings are needed and not...
Peace out and enjoy the weekend people:)

If 12 year old me only knew...

It was my birthday last week, and it hit me that this was the first time that I celebrated my birthday alone. No love, no family, no friends.
I am not afraid of being alone. And I actually see it as a very important thing to practise on. Spending time with me, myself and I brings out the opportunity to get to know yourself and to strengthen the inner you. Celebrating your birthday alone is not something i recommend though. But sometimes you can't do much about a situation but to accept and understand it. And I came to realize few things during that day when I, apparently, turned 28!
My birthday started of with a loving skype at midnight, and got my first wish from Sadu whom I love deeply and the one i missed the most that day.. I also got calls from back home and wishes on fb, and am waiting for two parcels so I couldn't be more happy for all the wishes I got that day, so thank you all for the wishes!:)
I didn't do much that day but went for a walk, bought myself a cake, checked out fb, listened to music and did a little of studies in the evening..I also took a nice look of myselfe in the mirror - 28. Do I look like 28? Any wrinkles yet? Maaaybe.. A couple of white hairs for sure! 
According to my own wishes when I was 12 years old I should have finished my studies and work as a flourist, be married and have two kids by now! But I couldn't be more than so happy and proud of myself that I am were I am in life at the moment. Not what 12 year old me imagined, but better. A life filled with love, life experiences, challenges and even bigger dreams! Life is just getting better and better for every year, and that's my goal. 
At the moment I'm preparing for my finals in September, and after four years of studies I can't wait for a new chapter to start and new goals to reach. I want to create something that feels stable in life, and something that feels like a home that I never want to leave; live a life that I wish will never end. Focus on things other than myself. Get out of the box I've spent four years in and take my heart with me and see how well I do out in the real world. Tell myself that I can instead of I can't. I want to believe that if you want something all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it (Paulo Coelho). And I want to be that frog with hearing problems that reaches the top because he didn't listen to all the people telling him that he couldn't:) Cause one day you'll wake up and there won't be any more time to do the things you've always wanted.
And I want to live life and fall and fly together with that one person who fills my heart with love, strength and happiness:) 
 Peace & lots of love...:)