To marry, or not to marry - that is the question!
Recently I've been thinking a lot aboute relationships and marriage. The reason for this might be that our sociology classes started out by talking about marriage, and the different types of marriages that exist in society. And yes, there are different types of marraige.
The biggest discussion in the western society have come to deal with the importance of same-sex-marriage. And during my stay in India I've came to understand that there are two basic kinds of marriage - love vs. non-love marriage. But the range is so much wider than that... Monogamy, polygyny, polyangry, group marriage, endogamy, exogamy, and the respective pros and cons in each matter.
Still, even if the most common type of marriage now days is monogamy, the reason for marriaging several wifes, or several men does make sence while putting the marrige into the type of society existing in that type of area. Polygyny (one man marrying more than one woman) do exisit in the muslim countries where polygamy is legalized. And in the past, a man who was married to several wifes showed that he was rich and powerful, and a woman would marry all the brothers instead of one (polyangry), with reason to keep the property in the family.
So, in the past we can se the reason why marrying a certain person, or persons. But what would be the reason for marriage in todays western society?
I believe the answer is deaply individualized and personal, giving the question many different answers.
Since we are heading towards an individualized society where men and women are earning there own money, being more centralized, not relying on one another and taking care of oneself, getting married due to securing their life is not that motivated. Still, being married Do simplify paperworks in our very bureaucratic society. It it's not on paper - you're not a couple.
Getting married and get blessings from God is another reason for true believers. And am not getting into that reason since am not practicing any specified religion. But I am a true admire of people who do!
Getting married simply because "I love him", is just a wonderful reason and should, acording to my view, be the ultimate reason to do so. Hence, marriage is not needed for stating the love between to persons, but a big awesome party to celebrate love is just the optimal reason to party with a lot of joy!
My personal view when it comes to marriage is that I don't really see the whole importance of getting married as seen in Indian society - If one is not married before your 30s something most be wrong with you and match your horoscope to find you a wife.
Still, with the right person I would concider throwing a big, awesom party to celebrate the love of my life and not because my maybe-future-mother-in-law is pushing it.
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There is a bit more to take under concideration though before getting married.
I have to admit that my stay in India have put me into a lot of thinking when it comes to relationships and whay type of person I want to have in my life as a life partner, and the reason for this might be that I tend to get a lot of attention while walking the streets of Manipal. People who stair, guys who is curious about where I am from, about my look, offers that I might concider being based on more than friendly matters.. Flattering, indeed, sometimes - tirering sometimes. But most of the time I just want to put my head in the sand and hide.
Still, a lot of questions have popped up in my head lately then it comes to relationships..
..what to I want?
..what do I need?
..what type of personality do I want to see in my partner?
..how should he be?
..what am I able to give and offer to the other person?
..what do I fall for?
I haven't come up with a lot of answers to the questions though, but I know I'll be serching for the answer as long as my days on this plannet will continue. But I have to say that I am starting to get a bit frustrated, and I blame it on a 25 year crisis.
I've met guys who sure is candy to my lips but not more than that; guys whom I love having conversations with but don't see the spark; fun loving guys with a reasoning out of this world; cute and nice guys with no selfconfidence. Or, when you find him the guy turns out to live in another part of the world, and you don't find the time you Would like to spend on better distance communication, Or the guy is from another religion and his mother would never aprove a commitment with a foreign girl.
Or, maybe I've alrady found him. I just haven't understood it yet...
I am looking for the ultimate partner whom I know does not exist. And please don't tell me "he's out there", "you just hang on"...
I believe it is all about the matter of time. Each thing has its own need of time.
And then, in the end I bet I get to the conclusion that you just want to be with the one that makes you smile:)
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